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A Parents Guide to how your baby and child learns when they are playing

This page is intended as a guide, to help you understand how your child learns when they are playing.

It focuses on the different ages and stages of children’s development between the time that they are born up to the age of 3.

Whilst the book concentrates on children playing with popular play equipment which can be found in local groups, children centres and within your own home, the most important thing your child needs to learn is you!

When babies are first born, their brains are still developing. The more you sooth, talk, touch and play with them, the more their brain will make connections and develop.

When you are calm and you hold your baby close to you, your baby will feel calm. That relaxed feeling will fill their body with chemicals that will help their brain grow.

Your child’s brain will grow better if you play with them. If you pull a face at your baby, they will copy you, and connections in their brain make links that will help them understand communication and feelings.

When you play counting games or sing action songs, your baby’s brain builds connections that make it possible for them to think, plan, make sense of the world and develop social skills.

Some suggestions to support your child's development...

Make time to cuddle your child every day. Your child will benefit from the warmth, love and affection that you are giving them, and this will help them to relax and calm down.

Make time to read books to your baby and child every day. Looking at books together helps babies to focus their eyes, to concentrate and start to think in a logical way. As you read books and talk about the pictures your baby will develop their understanding and overtime will learn new words. This will give them a good start for learning how to read when they are older.

Sing songs and rhymes every day. Babies will eventually start to try and copy the sounds you are making and will enjoy being close to you and watching your facial expressions. As children get older, they will begin to repeat the words within the songs, and this will increase their vocabulary.

When you are playing with your baby or child, have them close to you or get down on the floor or at the same level as them, this will help them to see your face, copy your expressions and follow what you are doing.

Join in with your child’s game, letting them take the lead. This gives them confidence and lets them know that their ideas are important.

Babies and children love being outside as it is full of interesting, exciting things for them to look at, touch and feel. They will get the chance to interact with other children and have space to move freely.

Children love being physical. Placing babies on a soft blanket on the floor will help them to build the strength in their muscles, that will enable them to first roll over, then to sit unaided and finally to crawl and then walk. As children get older, making time to play in the garden or at local parks with enable them to develop their hand and eye co-ordination and learn how to run and climb.

Children’s language develops when you talk to them all the time. Tell them about what you are doing, where you are going and what you are seeing.

Singing Songs & Rhymes

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

As you respond to me in the same way over and over again, you will help my brain to make connections.

I will turn my head towards a familiar sound such as your voice. I look closely at you when you are singing to me. I will respond when you sing to me by moving my arms and legs or by changing my facial expressions. I will feel soothed and comforted when you sing to me, and this will help me love and trust you.

You can sing to me at nappy changing time or to help me fall asleep. As I get older I listen to familiar sounds, words and songs. You will notice that I respond when you sing a song I have heard lots of times before. I make sounds back to you when you talk and sing to me. As I get older I will make babbling sounds such as ‘baba’, ‘nono’ and ‘gogo’.

8 to 20 months of age

I move my whole body to the music, beats and songs I enjoy. If I hear a song that I have heard before, you will know I am enjoying it because I smile, rock my body and clap my hands. I am now starting to imitate the words and sounds you sing to me. I am also now starting to join in with actions such as finding my nose when singing ‘Head and Shoulders’, or laying down when you sing ‘Sleeping Bunnies’

I am learning my voice will have an effect on you – when I move my body and attempt to sing along you smile at me.

I am starting to show a preference for particular songs. I love smiling, banging and clapping as I join in with the songs.

16 to 26 months of age

I have some favourite songs that I want you to sing again and again! Singing is helping me to learn lots of new words, and I am beginning to follow more of the actions. I listen to and enjoy rhymes and I show this by trying to join in with the words.

I will enjoy it when you begin to sing songs differently, making them faster, slower, louder or softer, or use different voices. I love it when you let me have musical instruments when we are singing, so that I can shake, tap and bang along to the rhythm.

I will copy some familiar song words and I will move to music and songs.

22 to 36 months of age

I continue to have favourite songs that I want you to sing again and again, but I also love learning new songs. This will help me to learn lots of new words and develop my understanding. I am interested in playing with different sounds I can make with my voice, and will enjoy singing louder, faster or quietly.

Song time is fun for me, it helps me to join in with other children, and to widen my social contacts and share my feelings. I am interested in musical instruments and the way they sound, and will respond to the change of tempo, shaking loudly when the song has a strong beat.

I am learning lots of new songs and will repeat familiar words and phrases from songs all the time. I can fill in the missing words of songs I know, such as ‘Humpty Dumpty sat on a ……’ Song time is even more fun when you use puppets and toys.

Sharing a book

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

I listen to and respond to the sound of your voice. I know the voices of those who I am closest to, such as mummy, daddy, brothers and sisters.

I enjoy listening to familiar sounds and words. The more you talk and sing to me, or repeat phrases over and over again, the more I will understand and respond.

I turn my head in response to sounds and sights. I respond to and thrive on warm, sensitive physical contact such as sitting on your lap to share a story. Feeling safe with you fills my body with special chemicals that helps my brain grow.

Even though I am very young I enjoy looking at books and other printed material, so please share books with me.

8 to 20 months of age

I now show my enjoyment and respond to what you say when you share familiar books with me, which have lovely colourful pictures and a few words.

If you point to the things which appear in the book, and use simple, single words to describe them over and over again, I will begin to understand. Soon I will be able to point to things myself, when you ask me. I will try and copy the words and sounds you make as you read the book to me. I enjoy babbling and experimenting with sounds and words. I may want to chew the book, because I am teething. I know if I make lots of sounds and actions you will respond to me.

I handle books and printed material with interest.

16 to 26 months of age

I love books but will sometimes lose interest half way through. I enjoy listening to and joining in with rhythmic patterns in rhymes and stories such as ‘We’re going on a bear hunt’.

You will know I enjoy the story because I move my body, clap and ask you to read the book again. I am beginning to turn the pages and sometimes may tear the book by accident. I am interested in books and will have favourite ones which I like to share over and over again. Sharing books before bedtime helps me to sleep. I will copy familiar expressions such as ‘oh dear’ and ‘uh oh’, and will start to know a few of the words that are repeated throughout the story, if you read to me a lot.

I enjoy pictures and stories about me, you, our family and other familiar people.

22 to 36 months of age

My concentration is getter better and I will find it easier to listen to books all the way through. I listen with interest to the noises you make when we share a story and I will copy you. I am getting much better at turning the pages in a book and I am less likely to tear them now. I am interested in playing with sounds, songs and rhymes that appear in the books you read me. Please talk to me about the pictures and ask me questions about what I can see. I will bring you a book to share with me and will enjoy choosing new books, if you take me to the library.

I have favourite stories, rhymes and songs I want to share with you. I can repeat more and more words or phrases from familiar stories and will be able to fill in the missing word or phrase in a story I know well.

By reading to me, you will help me to be able to read on my own when I am older. I also love it when you tell me stories you have made up, when we are in the car.

Water Play

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

When I smile at you and you smile back at me I feel happy. When you hold me, cuddle me, speak and sing to me, I will react by smiling, looking and moving. I will reach out for, touch and begin to hold objects. I am showing a range of emotions such as pleasure, fear and excitement. I am beginning to enjoy bath time, comforted by the noise and feel of the water. You can help to sooth me by singing to me when I am in the bath.

8 to 20 months of age

I concentrate for short periods on things I really like, such as putting my hands in the water and splashing, or watching you pour the water out of a container. At home I enjoy playing in the bath, or touching the water in puddles at the park.

I will hold the objects in the water in each of my hands and I can pass objects from one hand to the other. I am starting to use my thumb and finger grasp to pick up small objects, such as cups or toys in the water.

You will help my understanding of single words by talking to me as I play, using words such as ‘cup’, ‘jug’, ‘splash’.

I am beginning to understand ‘yes’, ‘no’ and some boundaries, and will need you to help me to play nicely in the water.

16 to 26 months of age

Sometimes I will really concentrate so I won’t hear you when you talk to me. I enjoy filling and emptying containers with water and will do this again and again!

I can say some single words, and the more words you use with me as I play in the water, the more words I will learn. As I get older I will begin to put 2 words together, such as ‘more water’, ‘want jug’. I will copy familiar expressions such as ‘all gone’ when I pour the water out of the jug. If you encourage and support me I will let you put my apron on and help dry my hands. You will need to help me to share toys in the water.

22 to 36 months of age

I will concentrate on playing with the water if I am really interested in it or you help to make it fun. I am showing increasing control in holding and using objects such as jugs for pouring.

I experiment more with the things in the water tray, using them in different ways than when I was younger, for example, squeezing the water from the sponge.

I will use my words to interact with my friends and you, sharing my feelings, experiences and thoughts, such as ‘look at the bubbles’ ‘this is a fish’. I ask a variety of questions – why, where, who, what. If you are playing with me, please answer my questions and encourage me to ask more!

I am showing understanding and I will cooperate with some boundaries. I will get an apron if you remind me and I may begin to find it easier to share some of the toys in the water.

I will seek out others to join me at the water tray.

I am beginning to understand quantities and am using language such as ‘more’, ‘a lot’, ‘big’ ‘small’. I will begin to imitate everyday actions such as using the toys and water to make and drink a cup of tea, or making the dolly swim in the water. Bath time is fun for me at home, and will help me to calm down at the end of the day.

Sand play

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

Before I can enjoy playing in the sand I need to do lots of physical activities such as holding up my head, lying on my tummy and lifting my head, exploring my feet and hands when lying on my back, rolling over and reaching out for objects. I will enjoy touching and holding objects, crawling, sitting up and exploring using my hands and mouth in everyday play.

I love it when you cuddle and rock me, as this will fill my body with chemicals that makes my brain grow.

8 to 20 months of age

I can sit unsupported and will enjoy feeling sand if you sit me in a sand pit. I might try and eat the sand, but once I place it in my mouth I will quickly realise that it does not taste very nice. I am now crawling or beginning to walk and will enjoy the sensory experience of putting my fingers in wet and dry sand, feeling the different textures.

I will enjoy squeezing damp sand and if you make a sand castle I will begin to reach and tap it. I can pick up small objects using my thumb and fingers and will begin to hold the objects in the sand pit, such as the spade. I love getting messy and using my fingers to squash and I am interested in the effects of the marks my movements make in the sand. If you use simple words to describe the ‘sand’, ‘bucket’, ‘spade’ then I will develop my understanding.

16 to 26 months of age

I am really developing the muscles in my hands and fingers. When I am playing in the sand I explore objects by linking together different approaches, such as shaking, looking, poking and tapping. I really enjoy doing things over and over again, and will love knocking down sand castles that you have made, or watching dry sand pouring out of a container.

I still enjoy the sensory experience of putting my fingers in sand, but I am now starting to make stronger connections between my movements and what I want to achieve, so you will see me starting to dig the sand, or trying to find objects which you have hidden. I am gaining greater control when I hold buckets, spades and moulds.

I am now using single words to describe objects, and starting to use two words together, such as ‘me dig’ or ‘more sand’.

22 to 36 months of age

You will notice that I am now using one of my hands more than the other when I play in the sand. I show control in holding and using spades to dig and buckets to build and mould. I can make marks in dry sand if you give me lolly sticks or thin branches, and I will enjoy seeing you drawing faces or writing my name in the sand. I can imitate drawing simple shapes such as circles and lines in the sand and can distinguish between the different marks I have made.

I am experimenting with the different texture of the sand, and am now realising that you need to use damp sand to mould and dry sand to pour. I still love getting messy, and will enjoy playing with the sand even more if you start making it more interesting. You can hide shiny gems or farm animals in the sand as I will enjoy finding them. I will also like it if you put glitter in the sand, or seeing the car tyre tracks in the sand. The more I can dig and mould in the sand, the more I will develop the muscles in my hand, making it easier for me to begin to write when I am older.

I am now using lots of words and short sentences to tell you how I am playing, and to get other children involved in my play. I may still find it difficult to share resources in the sand pit when other children are there. If you encourage me, I will try and help you to sweep up the sand that has dropped on the floor.

Making Marks (with crayons, paint and water)

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

From birth, connections are building in my brain that will make it possible for me to control my body more and more.

To be ready to make marks I need to do lots of physical activities such as holding up my head, lying on my tummy and lifting my head, exploring my feet and hands when lying on my back, rolling over and reaching out for objects.

I will enjoy touching and holding objects, crawling, sitting up and exploring using my hands and mouth in everyday play.

8 to 20 months of age

I can sit unsupported and will enjoy feeding myself yoghurt. I might make a mess, but will enjoy seeing the marks I make with the yoghurt. I am now crawling or beginning to walk and will enjoy the sensory experience of putting my fingers in water, paint, sand and paste, seeing the marks I make.

I will enjoy squeezing and touching playdough. I can pick up small objects using my thumb and fingers and can now hold a big pen or crayon using a whole hand grasp to make marks with different strokes. I love getting messy and using my fingers to squash and splash. I am beginning to be interested in the marks I leave when I make movements.

16 to 26 months of age

I am really developing the muscles in my hands and fingers. I am able to feed myself some food and will help to wipe my hands and the table if you let me. I explore objects by linking together different approaches such as shaking, looking, tasting, mouthing and poking.

I still enjoy the sensory experience of putting my fingers in water, paint, sand and paste, but I am now making stronger connections between my movements and the marks I make.

I am gaining greater control when I hold pencils, crayons and paintbrushes. The more I make marks, the easier I will find it to write when I am older.

22 to 36 months of age

You will notice that I am now using one of my hands more than the other when I make marks and play. I show control in holding and using jugs to pour, hammers to bang, instruments to shake and mark making tools. I am beginning to use three fingers to hold crayons, pencils and brushes. I can imitate drawing simple shapes such as circles and lines. I can distinguish between the different marks I have made and will tell you about my drawing or writing, if you ask me.

I am experimenting with blocks, colours and marks. I still love getting messy, and enjoy it when you give me glitter, paint and glue to play with at home. I enjoy splashing in puddles and seeing the marks my wet boots make. The more I can practice making marks, the more I will develop the muscles in my hand, making it easier for me to begin to write. Give me lots of resources at home to develop the muscles in my hands and fingers, such as puzzles, bricks, water play and dough. Take me to the park so I can use my hands to climb, as this will develop my hand and eye co-ordination.

Small world and home corner

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

I am gaining more control over my arm and leg movements. I reach out for, touch and begin to hold objects.

I explore objects by picking them up and putting them in my mouth.

I repeat actions that have an effect, for example, I will kick or hit a mobile or shake a rattle.

As I get older I will reach out and pick up toys.

8 to 20 months of age

I will concentrate for short periods on the things I like doing. I have a strong desire to explore and will be interested in things that are familiar to me. For example I will be interested in farm animals if you take me to the farm.

I can pass a toy from hand to hand and can hold an object in each hand and bang them together. If you use simple words to describe objects that I see, such as train, car, dolly, cat, then I will develop my understanding. I will enjoy it if you make the noises of the objects, such as ‘chug’ for train, or ‘miaow’ for cat.

I will imitate actions that you do, such as knocking down a tower of blocks. I will find it easier to play if you sit at the same level as me.

16 to 26 months of age

I enjoy repeating patterns of play, so will push a car backwards and forwards many times, or push the dolly in the buggy for a long time. I like moving things from one place to another, putting them in bags or on the buggy. I am beginning to use single words to describe the toys I play with, such as ‘dolly’ ‘car’, and can understand simple sentences that you say to me such as ‘put dolly in bed’. I will develop my understanding of how to play with toys if I see you doing something. For example, I may begin to ‘talk’ into a play phone.

I can play alongside children, but may find it very hard to share favourite toys.

I am now able to pretend that an object is something else, for example, using a rectangle brick as a phone.

22 to 36 months of age

I enjoy making choices about how I will play with the toys and this is helping me develop my imagination. You will notice that I am starting to ‘make believe’, using cars, dolls, small figures to act out things I have done before. I am starting to use sentences when I play, and can tell you what I am doing ‘baby sleeping in buggy’. When you play with me you will develop my language and understanding further by commenting on how I am playing ‘you have made a nice bed for the dog’.

I show control in holding and using toys, as I pretend to cook dinner or move pretend dinosaurs around the room. You can help me to develop my understanding of numbers by talking about the number of cups or cars I am playing with.

I like repeating movements over and over again, you can help to develop this further by changing the things I play with, for example, giving me sand to make pretend food with. I am starting to use some language about quantities such as ‘more’ or ‘a lot’. You can help my understanding by talking to me about how big or small the toys are that I am playing with, and encouraging me to think about colour or shape – ‘that’s a lovely big red train’.

I will experiment with blocks, colours and mark making.

Construction - building and making

How does your child learn?

Birth to 11 months of age

My body works in tune with you. If you are relaxed I will feel relaxed too and this will help my brain grow.

I am gaining more control over my arm and leg movements. I reach out for, touch and begin to hold objects. I explore objects by picking them up and putting them in my mouth. I repeat actions that have an effect, for example, I will kick or hit a mobile or shake a rattle.

As I get older I will reach out to plastic bricks you may have built up, and attempt to knock them over.

8 to 20 months of age

I will concentrate for short periods on the things I like doing. I can pass a toy from hand to hand and can hold an object in each hand and bang them together.

I can pick up objects between my thumb and fingers and as I get older I will start trying to place one block on top of another block. I am beginning to recognise big things and little things in a meaningful way. I will enjoy looking for dropped or hidden objects, especially if you make this into a game.

I will imitate actions that you do, such as knocking down a tower of blocks.

16 to 26 months of age

Sometimes I will really concentrate – so I may not hear you when you talk to me.

I can play alongside children, and am beginning to enjoy playing with trains and bricks. I enjoy repeated movements, such as pushing and pulling trains and cars. I am beginning to organise and categorise objects, such as putting all the train track and bricks in separate piles.

I can use blocks to make simple structures and arrangements such as balancing blocks to build a small tower and then knocking them down. I can fit things together, such as putting the lid on the teapot and am finding it easier now to make things and to manipulate the resources to move the way I want them to.

22 to 36 months of age

I am interested in others’ play and I am starting to join in. I enjoy making choices about how I will play with the resources, and this is helping me develop my imagination. If you help me, I will begin to use cars, trains and resources to act out things I have done before. I am developing an understanding of simple concepts – big/little, high/low, and hard/soft, especially if you talk to me about the shape and size of the resources as we make things together. You can help me to choose the right shape to build and make, for example, suggesting a circle shape for a wheel. I will also develop my awareness of colour, if you tell me about the colours of the things I am playing with.

I show control in holding and using objects such as putting the train track together or completing a simple puzzle. You can help me to develop my early maths skills by counting out how many blocks I have. I will also develop my language if you talk to me about what I am making. I like repeating movements over and over again; you can help to develop this further by laying out the train track differently for example. You may notice that I am beginning to use one hand more than another when I build and make things.

I am starting to use some language about quantities such as ‘more’ or ‘a lot’. I am starting to use talk about size such as ‘big’, ‘little’ and ‘huge’. I am beginning to sort objects according to their size or shape. I enjoy playing with small world toys such as the train track or farm. I will experiment with blocks, colours and mark making.

Further Information

The Merton Family Services Directory is a comprehensive guide to services for children, young people, parents, carers and practitioners across Merton. The range of information covers services for children aged 0-20.

Use the FSD to search online for children centres, childcare, activities and facilities across Merton.

FSD HomePage -https://fsd.merton.gov.uk/kb5/merton/directory/home.page 

Childcare and Education -https://fsd.merton.gov.uk/kb5/merton/directory/family.page?familychannel=2

Activities & Leisure -https://fsd.merton.gov.uk/kb5/merton/directory/family.page?familychannel=1

 

 

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